Memento Mori
by his.dark.demise
Summary: I learned a long time ago that there was no room for love in war. Even if that's what we had, it's not what I would've called it.
1. Chapter 1

_I learned a long time ago that there was no room for love in war. Even if that's what we had, it's not what I would've called it. But what would I know about love? I'm just the L2 orphan that nobody gave a damn about. Bounced around from street to street, victim of a government gone sickeningly wrong._

_That's where my story started, at least._

**We interrupt this radio program to bring you an urgent announcement. As of 1800 hours, Gundams have been sighted near the outskirts of the L2 colony cluster. It is advised that all civilians stay inside their homes, and use extreme caution when venturing outside. All shuttles leaving the colony have been suspended until further notice. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programs...**

The noise was nearly deafening in the club that night, a pulse in the ground that rocked the very core of the hundreds of bodies packed onto that tiny, dark dance floor. Heavy songs beat out rhythmic melodies while a young man wandered among the dancers. His cobalt eyes were covered by an expensive pair of sunglasses. He scanned over the crowds, long braided hair floating behind him as he moved. He was dressed for clubbing, for sure, but clubbing wasn't what he had in mind.

"There she is, Duo. To your left, at the bar." The sound of his comrade came clearly through the small device wired into his ear. He turned his head, spotting the woman immediately. Not your typical officer, he thought to himself. She didn't look military at all, as a matter of fact. Long, brunette hair cascading down her back, natural makeup to flatter her already beautiful face. A skinny red dress to compliment her already perfect body. A true wonder why she wasn't already surrounded by several men, but instead sat alone with her small drink. Duo grinned to himself. This would be too easy. He sauntered over to the bar and sat down at the bar stool across from her, calling over the bartender and ordering a drink for both of them. Perhaps it was his strange style of dressing, his laid back attitude and complete lack of fear that pulled her attention towards him. Even Quatre had been surprised at how quickly the conversation had turned from a simple hello to something far more. At least a half an hour passed before Duo lead the woman out of the crowd, into the back rooms of the club.

"How does he do it, Heero..." Quatre sat baffled from his seat back in the gundams' temporary base, only a few blocks from where Duo currently resided. The other pilot sat in his seat silently, watching the hacked camera system with a calculating gaze. The young blonde tilted his head to look at Heero for several moments as if waiting for a response that he knew would not come. He eventually turned his attention back to the screens. Duo had the woman alone. The plan was going perfectly. Well, almost perfectly. What started as innocent conversation seemed to have turned into substantially more. The two were merely inches apart, and the look on Duo's face had all but innocent intentions. The moment the two's lips brushed, a slight noise jolted Quatre from his deep blush. He looked quickly over to the side; Heero was gone.

"Never thought I'd meet the famous Shinigami himself...such a sly one you are, Duo Maxwell." She whispered across his ear. What she thought to be a mocked confidence was indeed real. The grin did not dissipate from his features. Instead, he looked fairly curious.

"What gave me away?" He whispered in return. She closed her eyes for a moment, smiling to herself.

"You're practically a celebrity around these parts. Though I must admit." She shook her head slightly. "I never expected to get this close to a Gundam Pilot without a gun to my head. You've got some spunk coming here unarmed." Duo tilted back away from the woman, quirking an eyebrow.

"And who's to say I didn't?" What was in reality only a few seconds of silence seemed to drag on forever in that moment. The woman smiled at him sadly, eventually looking away towards the large window at the left of the large room they stood in. The stars shone brightly there, just as they always had on this colony. Perhaps the only thing she'd enjoyed during her stay. Perhaps the only thing that L2 had going for itself. When she spoke again, softly, her voice cracked.

"I'm going to die today, aren't I."

"You're already dead." He responded, and the reality of the situation hit her. The drink he'd bought her; he'd poisoned it. A trick as old as war itself, and she'd fallen for it. She took several steps backwards, lowering herself to the bed nearby and gripping the sheets lightly.

"Then you won't mind answering a few questions, since I have no way of passing them on." Duo seemed to fall off of his pedestal of power for a moment, tilting his head and putting a hand to his hip as if to think about it. He eventually shrugged, striding over to take a seat next to the woman. She smiled at him, lowering her head to his shoulder. He was stiff.

"What do you fight for? Why are you a Gundam pilot, such an innocent kid like you? Don't you have any family to go home to?" The question wasn't something he was accustomed to answering, and for several long moments he had none at all. The braided boy leaned back on his hands, shrugging.

"I've never had a family...well, except for the church that picked me up off the streets. And the other pilots, I guess. We're not terrorists, Ms. Boulei. I'm fighting for my colony, so that no more kids have to live on the streets like I did, because of the corrupt government running this damned place. Destroying this place. This colony has nothing going for it, you've probably figured that out. Nothing but a pretty bunch of lights to stare at every night."

"Your life is a contradiction then, Duo. You want no more kids on the streets, and yet you and your comrades are making orphans every day. You would've made a great ambassador though... Those kids look up to you."

"What, you mean like our great Princess Relena? As if they'd listen to me any more than they listen to her. Talking gets you nowhere, I think us sitting here has proven that, huh?" Duo chuckled to himself quietly, though some of his spunk seemed to have faded away. The woman's breathing became a more labored, until she could hardly sit up. Duo picked his hands up from the bed and guided her down, eyes glued to her now pale features.

"You've.. gotten rid of at least one of the opposition... I guess." She smiled weakly, barely able to feel his warm hand grasp her own freezing one, squeezing gently.

"Damned shame, really. You might've been one of the few that could really understand us."

"I'm glad that I met you, Duo. It's just a shame that it had to be like this. Goodnight.. Shinigami.. I'll see you on the other... side... someday..." He lingered over her body momentarily. She'd been unable to see the lingering guilt in his eyes as he spoke into his hidden mic so softly that the blonde in their makeshift base could hardly hear it over the systems that had been so crudely assembled only hours earlier.

"Mission accomplished. Get me out of here, Quatre."

_Revenge is a funny thing. Who knows if it's what we really want or not, but it's the only thing that all of us "pilots" have in common. To the rest of the world and space, we're nothing but high-profile terrorists. The Gundams are our symbol of freedom. They're our war machines.  
><em>

Duo slipped from the room, it felt, as quickly as he'd entered. He left the officer's body lying upon the bed peacefully, adjusting the ball cap that now covered his eyes from view. Quatre kept his eyes on the cameras from a few miles away, guiding the long-haired teen out of the building and around any bodyguards that might have noticed anything unusual. Duo had hardly gotten back onto the dance floor before an erupting scream silenced the room.

"Any time now, Quatre..." Duo muttered into the mic. The distraction was slower than anticipated.

"Find him!" The teen swallowed hard, taking in a breath as the club lights smashed on, exposing everyone and anyone in the room, and leaving him surrounded by shocked patrons and angry guards. Several of them raised their weapons, causing the room to go into a panic. Duo took in another breath, slowly raising his arms over his head. "Quatre..."

"Some nerve you've got, Gundam Pilot." It had taken nothing but that sentence to turn the room into something of an angry mob. This was the guy responsible for all the shit the colonies had been experiencing? Duo lowered his head and closed his eyes, wishing the scene away. The bodyguards converged through the crowd, and the teen was just about to admit defeat and find himself captured again. The largest guard was merely arm's reach from him when the lights suddenly went out, causing all in the room to panic; It was all Duo needed. He ducked out of the crowd, slipping into a hallway as a loud crash caused further chaos within the building.

"Sorry, one of the switches was malfunctioning!"

"Better late than never."

Only moments later, Duo slammed through the club's alley exit, stopping to take in a breath of the much cooler air. A close call that had been indeed. He stumbled over towards the building wall, spinning on his heel and leaning against it heavily. His left hand raised to push some stray bangs from his eyes, his deep breaths making small clouds. "Heero's taking the next mission, you hear me?"

"He left a while ago, Duo." The brunette sighed, letting the back of his head hit the brick wall.

"I saw what you did." The Gundam pilot's head twisted to the right, eyes connecting to a female standing not ten feet away. She didn't even have a moment to blink before a handgun was aimed at her head.

"And if you know what's good for you, you'll forget all of it and keep walking." Duo hissed from behind his gun, clicking back the safety for added emphasis. The girl's hands instantly went into the air, stumbling several steps back with a shocked gasp. He saw her hands shaking; she was honestly frightened. Perfect.

"You really are one of them..." She stammered. Duo's eyebrow rose, a slight smirk crawling over his face, trigger finger still poised for any last-minute decisions.

"The one and only. I promise you, I won't miss. Get walking." There was silence between the two for what felt like an eternity. The girl's face went from frightened to curious. Concerned, perhaps. She continued taking slow steps backwards, hands lowering. The Gundam pilot's eyes narrowed. What trick was she trying to pull?

"I think I know you. Duo? Is that you?"

"It ain't for you to know!" He snapped back immediately, taking a threatening step forward. Instead of running away like any normal person might, she took several steps forward as if the gun wasn't there. He made good to remind her with a warning shot aimed only inches from her foot. "I don't know who the hell you are, lady, and I don't _want_ to know. Turn the hell around, or get a bullet in your brain!"

"What did they do to you..."

"Shut up!" He shouted, teeth gritted. He really didn't want to kill someone who could be an old friend, or even someone from the orphanage. He wanted to kill nobody more than he had to, and she would be well over his quota for the day. He didn't have to think about it for long. Out of the shadows came a figure. Before the strange woman could react, she was caught up in a choke-hold, neck locked underneath Heero's forearm. The girl only struggled for a moment, and was released shortly after. She fell to the cold pavement, unconscious.

"Put the gun away." Heero muttered. It took Duo several moments to register that the other teen had even been there, for he left just as quickly. The brunette scratched his head, staring at the cold body on the ground in front of him. She was breathing, if only slightly. Duo contemplated leaving her there. He also pondered about what might happen if he were to do that. She could tell people about him. His cover would be completely blown, and the mission would be compromised. Too much work gone down the drain for one woman to be a tattle-tale.

"This isn't how it should've been. I apologize." Duo took several steps towards the woman, gun pointed down at her. Her body stirred only a moment later, eyes fluttering, trying to bring her surroundings back into focus. The last thing she would see were the eyes of the teen and the barrel of his gun, the flash as the bullet was released into her forehead.

Then, nothing.

_Memento Mori. Remember that you are mortal. You have no idea how often I forget._


	2. Chapter 2

_Heero? He loves death. He actively seeks it out. Heero wants nothing more than to end it all and call it a day, and there's not a day that I'm not reminded of it. Me? Well, I'm Shinigami. Who knows, he might just be hoping that my bad luck rubs off on him someday. I doubt he really cares much about me, but I don't think that I care much for him either. I'd call it a mutual partnership at this point. Deathscythe and Wing Zero compliment each others' abilities and share a lot of mechanical similarities, so we get partnered up pretty often._

The trip back to the Gundam Pilots' makeshift base had been quick and silent for Duo Maxwell. He had tried to push the vision of the girl on the pavement's last look from his mind, but after several long minutes of repetitive memory thrashing, he'd finally remembered who she was. For the sake of keeping his own identity a secret, he'd killed someone who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. She had been a friend once, or at least as close to a friend as Duo had the right to call it. He'd always been a loner, but she'd been around occasionally. So far as he knew she was doing well these days. Until he'd shot her at point blank, that is.

Duo swallowed back a sickness that threatened to overtake him as he stepped into the base of operations. Quatre waved pleasantly from behind the computer screens and Heero was nowhere to be seen. Trowa Barton had appeared from a nearby room, having only just arrived moments ago. He and Duo passed glances, but no words.

"How did the deal go, Trowa?" Quatre inquired, sliding off of his chair and crawling underneath the desk to adjust some wires. He'd accept no more close calls on missions. The newly arrived teen made some sort of sound under his breath, tossing a clipboard down on a nearby coffee table and taking a seat at the couch beside it. The place might've made for a nice apartment if it hadn't been rigged from top to bottom with electrical equipment.

"They drove a hard bargain, but I managed enough spare parts for all of us and plenty of ammo to go around. We'll have to lay low for a few more days until they get it all to Howard. He's taking a trip up here to replace that malfunctioning joint on the Deathscythe." The way he spoke had always been very precise and simple, never saying more than he had to. very much like Heero, Duo thought to himself as he removed his jacket. It wasn't such a bad thing that the pilots had little to say to one another; it seemed like only yesterday that they'd even learned of each others' existences. Distrust still ran rampant in certain areas, but for the most part the fact that they were all working for a common goal was enough to keep the peace.

"Too close." It was the first thing out of Heero's mouth in Japanese as he'd entered the confines. Duo immediately looked up, staring down the lifeless eyes that did the same to him.

"Excuse me, but you're not exactly the one sticking your neck out here." He quickly reminded the dark-haired boy who had indeed spent the majority of the mission in the relative safety of the base. Quatre slid out from under the desk with an apologetic look, but Duo waved a dismissive hand at the both of them. He'd learned the hard way which hills were worth dying on; Heero Yuy wasn't worth half of his breath. He stalked towards his temporary room, uttering a respectful goodnight to Quatre and Trowa. "Wake me up when the war's over."

"Maybe a few hours." Quatre smiled. "You'll want to see Howard when he comes in, won't you?" Duo turned around thoughtfully. The old mechanic had been one of the few friends that the braided boy had held onto since the start of Operation Meteor. He appreciated that Howard had such intimate knowledge of his machines, could hold a halfway decent lighthearted conversation, and made an excellent cup of Joe.

"Guess I owe the old man a visit. He's comin' on my behalf, after all." Duo smiled to himself, turning back around. On his way down the hall he made an effort to shoulder past Heero as roughly as he could, though his good mood had ruined the original intent. Heero cursed under his breath, turning around after him with gritted teeth. Quatre blinked as the two disappeared, peering over at Trowa then back down the hall.

"He's gonna get himself hurt someday." The Arab sighed, picking himself up and sitting back down in the chair beside him. Trowa made some kind of sound to acknowledge the blonde, picking up a local newspaper. The two boys understood that something unusual was going on between the two pilots. Duo almost seemed to make it a habit to get under Yuy's skin and the only time the two had come to blows, the braided boy had nearly been knocked out cold. Despite the constant tension, they worked well enough together. The blonde often wondered if there was something else going on behind all of those bad feelings, something that nobody else was seeing. Something that nobody else could know about. Something far too dangerous for either of you.

"Unless you plan on goin' out and doin' this shit yourself, keep your mouth shut." Duo barked quietly from the far end of the hall in Japanese, whirling around to face the other boy. It wasn't perfect since it wasn't his first language, but Heero got the point. Though, it was hard for Duo to tell since the boy's expression hadn't changed at all.

"The girl."

"The fucking girl. Thanks for leaving it to me, you could've killed her yourself."

"You're welcome."

"Spare me, Heero." Duo turned around towards the door of his room. As soon as a hand grabbed his shoulder, he turned around to swing at him. Instead of landing a hit, his wrist was caught roughly. With no effort at all, he was slammed violently enough into the wall to take his breath away. All Duo could do was stare maliciously into the eyes that looked just as lifeless as ever. He often wondered if the Wing Zero pilot had a soul at all, or if it was just some shell of a person tuned for nothing but war. Regardless, he couldn't move and Heero wasn't letting him go.

"Too. Close." It was in that split second between Heero's words and the subsequent shove that followed that Duo realized they weren't talking about the girl on the street. Duo reached up to rub his shoulder as Heero walked away. Had he just sensed... jealousy? The braided boy shook his head, opening his door and entering his room, throwing himself down on the bed. He rolled over onto his back, putting the event from his mind. The pain in his wrist brought it back however, and he raised it to eye level. That was going to leave a bruise. Duo sighed, turning his head in the direction of the door and staring at it with narrowed cobalt eyes.

"You could've just said something, baka."

_At some point or another we figured out that we were in it for the long haul. Things just kind of went from there I guess. No sappy confessions, no long nights of passion or however they explain it away in those cheap romance novels. It is what it is, as the saying goes. And it's far from romantic._

"So the little rat finally shows himself!" Howard shouted from afar as Duo entered the bay in which the Gundams were residing. The teen spotted his mechanical friend at the foot of Wing Zero and shot him the finger. A few moments later he was close enough to shake the man's hand and get a solid pat on the back. Duo smiled and looked up, admiring the Gundams. Wing Zero's cockpit was open and several dozen wires were hanging from it. Deathscythe's arm was stripped to the wires and skeleton, and Heavyarms was in the process of being re-stocked with ammo.

"So, what's the skinny on these guys?" Duo inquired.

"The only skinny thing here is you," He poked the boy in the side with a smirk, "But we've got our work cut out for us here. I'm going to see if we can get Deathy's arm in working condition without tearing it apart, it's a pretty small bearing. Would be a shame to take out a whole joint over something that tiny."

"Supposedly they got the part, if all else fails."

"Failing is the last thing I do, shorty. Meanwhile, I've got a team over here working on Wing's reaction time. Super Yuy's getting too fast for the system to keep up with. It's asking a lot to get a hunk of metal this size to turn on a dime, but we'll get it as damn close to fifteen cents as we can." Duo smiled, peering up at the cockpit once more. Perhaps avoiding Heero today wasn't going to be as easy as he thought.

As if on queue, the boy in question's head popped out of the cockpit, along with the rest of him. He grabbed hold of a nearby wire and slid down to the ground effortlessly, joining the two momentarily. "Wufei's on his way, ETA three hours. Sandrock is staying on Earth with the Maganacs."

"Great folks, those Maganacs. They break my work-load and party like rock stars. Speaking of, where's Blondy? Haven't seen him all day!" Duo snickered at the joke and Heero walked away.

"Probably working on the system we put up the other day. Wasn't working well last night."

"The crazy docs give you boys a day off, and you're still working. If all the other kids your age had half your work ethic, unemployment wouldn't exist. Ah, ah!" Howard reached out to yank at Duo's braid as he picked up a tool kit. He cried out in surprise, stumbling backwards. "You're not working on your day off, kiddo."

"Then you can do the work, and I'll stare at my baby longingly. Fair?" Duo grinned, handing the tools over to Howard who raised an eyebrow. The old man shook his head with a chuckle and handed the kit back to Duo who grinned cheekily and clambered up the side of his gundam as he'd done many times before. Howard gave a defeated sigh as the Deathscythe's lights sprang to life at the hands of its pilot. He wanted nothing more than for his favorite little kid to enjoy being just that; a kid. He often forgot how old they actually were, and he was sure that they did as well. Deathscythe was Duo's life, his favorite toy, and perhaps his only other friend. Operation Meteor wasn't supposed to last as long as it was going; the boys had been at war for so long that they'd forgotten how to live.

For Duo, it was nothing more than revenge for every bad hand he'd been dealt since the day he'd been born. Word traveled fast on the L2 colony and the knowledge that one of their own had finally stepped up gave the street kids something to look up to, some kind of hope that things might get better for them. Unfortunately, the rest of the colony didn't feel the same; something of a civil war had nearly broken out months before that had thankfully been squashed out early. Unfortunately for Duo, that meant forcing himself to become a night owl to avoid confrontations with anybody who might recognize him during the day. So much for enjoying childhood. Howard enjoyed the calls he got from Duo and hated hearing the things he'd managed to endure in the time between the last conversation. It wasn't fair at all.

"The hydraulics are a little low on this side." Howard's thoughts were interrupted by Duo sitting on the door of the cockpit and patting the right side of the giant robot. "Mind helping me for a second, too? The scythe's been a little weak lately, gonna tweak it up really quick. Mind operating the calibrator?" The braided boy smiled when Howard nodded, hopping back into the pit and activating the gundam fully. It took several steps forward, rocking the floor as it unhinged its main weapon. Duo re-adjusted Deathscythe's standing position, giving the screens a once-over before hitting the button that activated the scythe's deadly saber-beam. He then jumped back out of the gundam and slid down the arm, hooking a wire into the scythe's handle and attaching a box to that. For several minutes the two of them shouted readings back and forth. Heero strode in right as they finished.

"Alright you two. Take a break, go home. I'll take care of the rest of this." Howard smiled, shooing the two pilots from the hangar. The artificial sun had just begun to set as they began their short trip. Heero and Duo walked silently back to where they came from, and Duo wished he'd left at a different time. Of all the people to keep the company of, Heero was not high on his list of preferences at that point in time. He peered up at the fake sky, all too familiar with its cloud and weather patterns; today was going to get chilly. It wasn't until they were two blocks from their 'home' that Heero's voice brought Duo back to reality.

"Did you know her?" He had to think about the question for several moments, eventually realizing who he was referring to.

"Yeah." Duo replied dimly, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"You're not the only one who's lost someone." The statement was made in a monotone. It caused Duo to stop walking and stare at Heero incredulously.

"I'm sorry, was that supposed to cheer me up? You've got a real way with words." Instead of Heero's usual lifeless stare, Duo's jaw nearly dropped from the insult as the other boy rolled his eyes and kept walking. Duo jogged a bit to catch up and continued right along. "If you've got something to say, Heero, I suggest you fucking say it. I'm really getting tired of all this circle jerking. Save the cryptic bull for someone els-!" He never finished his sentence. Heero turned around and took Duo by the shirt, knocking the braided boy's feet out from under him. With a shout, Duo had been put to the pavement, staring angrily up at a boy who's expression wasn't any more pleasant.

"There's a time and a place for everything," He muttered, leaning in close enough to make Duo uncomfortable. "This is not the time, OR the place."

"When the hell is it, then." He responded through gritted teeth as the hand on his chest pushed down hard enough to crack his collar bone. Duo knew it was never a good idea to pick a fight with Heero Yuy, but the attitude was in his blood. If you weren't tough, you didn't survive. Regardless of the danger involved in taking the perfect soldier head on, Duo refused to be walked on or pushed around without a fight.

It drove Heero absolutely insane that someone could be so pig-headed without a reason; it was as if he had to prove that he wasn't as feminine as his hair made him out to be. Pride and the mission was the only reason Heero stayed silent about the issue; whether the stronger boy wanted to accept it or not, Duo Maxwell was just as much a part of Operation Meteor as anybody else and there was just no getting rid of him. There was also no denying that his defiant stupidity wasn't at least a little bit attractive.

"If you're trying to make me like you, you're doing a terrible job." Duo said softly, cringing from the strain that was being placed on him. The words had an effect on Heero, however, for the pressure had suddenly been released. Only a moment later however, Duo found himself getting yanked to his feet by the same shirt he'd been floored with. He was then spun around and pushed forward, forced to continue the walk home. Duo brushed off his shirt, frowning to himself. If this were any other boy, he'd fight it out until he was battered and bloody with a manic grin plastered on his face. But this wasn't any other boy. So far as Duo was concerned, Heero was a freak of nature. Perhaps not even human. He'd save it for another day when he wouldn't have to explain how and why Heero had broken another dozen bones over his own inability to call it quits.

"Why can't you just admit it?" Duo sighed.

"Shut up, baka."

_Memento Mori. I wonder if that means anything to a soldier who doesn't fear death._


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:** Just a quick warning to readers, there will be a rather 'intense' scene that I kept down to a paragraph. There's no need for description on a website like , sorry you hardcore yaoi fans. Also, I apologize for the chapter lengths, but a lot is going on. Hopefully I haven't lost anybody! Enjoy.

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><p><em>I try not to think about the consequences of getting too close to Dr. J's personal puppet. He's got emotions in there somewhere and I wish I could say that I was one of the few people he showed them to, but I'm not. He doesn't know a damned thing about me either and it can stay that way for as long as it takes for this stupid war to end.<em>

Duo hadn't expected anybody to be home by the time he'd finished his shower. It was going to be a busy day. Howard would be leaving for Earth and the Gundams were going to be moved into a more secure location after a scheduled interruption of OZ's supply shipments, headed by Deathscythe with his cloaking abilities. That being as it was, Duo had jumped out of the shower, thrown on some shorts and worked on drying his hair. On his trip towards the kitchen, he'd noticed Heero sitting at the computers. He was disassembling the setup and erasing the information residing upon it.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Duo spoke up, attracting the other boy's attention. From the look on his face Duo could only assume that Heero hadn't been expecting him there either. Duo raised an eyebrow as Heero gave him a once-over and returned to his work. Pretty decent build for someone who could hardly hold his own in a fight against him. Heero pulled another plug from the system, putting the thought behind him.

"Wing isn't finished."

"Maybe if you weren't so attached to the self-destruct button it wouldn't take so long." Duo muttered. He finished the last few steps to the kitchen, rifling through the cabinets for something to eat. A box of crackers wasn't much, but he hadn't been all that hungry to begin with. After munching on a few he replaced the box and moved into the living room, sitting cross-legged and sideways on the couch. He flipped on the television and grabbed a brush, getting all the tangles out of his hair while Heero boxed up the equipment he'd just taken apart.

"Howard better hurry on Wing, looks like the dogs caught a scent." Heero peered up at the television, calmly observing a police officer addressing the colony about the disappearance of the gundams that had been announced only days prior. He assured them that his team was searching every crevice, and that they'd heard from a source who saw what happened. A quick glance at his watch and he returned back to work. The next half hour had been silent save for the sound of the brush and the television.

After the fourth set of commercials, Duo set the brush down and pushed his hair over his shoulder, parting it up for braiding. Nimble fingers and years of experience would normally make this task take less than a few minutes. However, this time was different. With a suspicious furrow of his eyebrows, Duo found his hands moved out of the way and another set take over. A quick glance to his left confirmed that Heero was no longer working on the computer. If it where anybody else, he might've smacked them away. Being who it was made that option not sound so pleasant without any clothes to catch the fall he'd take.

"You better not mess it up." He muttered instead. There was a momentary pause, but no response. Duo let out a breath, attention brought back to the television as the commercials came to their end. Several photos were being displayed on the screen, one of which was his own (taken from a cell phone during his club visit) with a warning to call the authorities immediately if they had any information on his location. Of course, Heero was also pictured from a surveillance camera. Quatre's picture was older, as well as Trowa and WuFei's.

"Do not be fooled by their age, these young men are the suspected pilots of the Gundams. They are assumed to be armed and dangerous as well as highly skilled in combat. Please, do not approach for any reason. It has also been confirmed that at least three of them are in the L2 colony area." Some small sense of pride caused Duo to smile. After fifteen years, the colony finally found him to be a formidable threat. Heero's fingers brushing his back as he braided brought the boy back to reality. Duo reached over his shoulder to hand the other boy a rubber band as he reached the bottom of the row.

"We might just be sitting ducks today." Duo smirked, but a sudden closeness from the one behind him wiped it straight off his face. Heero had spoken something so quietly that Duo had been unable to hear it over the television. The feel of his breath had caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end and every part of him wanted to get up and away from the discomfort that had hit him almost immediately.

"Would you have done it?" He asked loudly enough to be heard, but Duo didn't understand the question.

"Done what?"

"Her." He lifted his eyes towards the program, observing the picture of the now perished OZ officer. How this correlated into what was going on at the moment went over Duo's head, but he shrugged and responded as well as he could without shivering.

"Probably." Whether the answer had been what Heero was looking for or not couldn't be said, but just as suddenly as Duo had responded his eyes became as wide as saucers. Rough hands were going where they shouldn't and for the first time since meeting the perfect soldier, Duo was caught completely speechless.

He had absolutely no idea how they hadn't gotten caught. No words at all had been exchanged, no sounds made. The only thing happening in that living room was the acceptance that something was indeed happening. A twisted form of possessive revenge or some strange declaration of love, who really knew. Taken on a couch, that would be a story to laugh about later. The entire ordeal had left him a panting mess that felt the need for yet another shower. Unfortunately a ringing cell phone had put the urge behind.. for then at least.

"Pack up and get out of there, the police are getting too close for comfort."

"Kay, I'll be out in a minute."

"Duo, are you okay?" Quatre asked with a twinge of concern. Duo chanced a look over at Heero who had gone directly back to packing up the remainder of the things that needed to be junked as if nothing at all had just occurred between them. He sighed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. We'll talk later." He hung up the phone quickly, striding off to get his clothes on and making a mental note not to be caught without them in Yuy's presence anytime in the near future. A chance look out of his window blinds caused the boy to rush around and throw the remaining stuff he had into a backpack. He slung it over his shoulder at the end of the hall, peering over at Heero, who had already finished moving everything.

"Better pray he's done, time to jet." Heero picked up a helmet from the ground, tossing it hard at Duo, who caught it and put it under his arm. A gun came at him as well which he quickly cocked and tucked into his jacket, pushing the door open. The last thing Heero saw was the 'baka's' braid before the sounds of shots and screaming emitted. And Duo called HIM crazy. The Japanese boy made his way outside, barely getting a glance at the source of the gunshots before Duo zipped off on a motorcycle, leaving nothing but the echoes of a deafening squeal, tire tracks and smoke behind.

Duo grinned from behind his helmet, revving the engine and pushing it harder, weaving in and out of traffic on both sides of the street as the cops attempted to follow him. It was the perfect distraction that would allow the other gundams to get out of the colony unhindered. A loud shot caused him to swerve, looking over his shoulder. They were really shooting at him with all of these civilians around! Were they crazy? As another shot rang out, Duo concentrated on keeping the bike straight. His concentration was interrupted by the appearance of his distraction. Wing Zero had emerged from the hangar, pushing enough air to flip cars as the gundam's powerful wings brought it airborne.

Duo's motorcycle screeched to a halt a block later, and the boy rushed down the street to the location in which Deathscythe was hidden. Just as he was about to enter the building he'd been aiming for, a voice had stopped him dead. A kid? He turned around, gun drawn. A child and her father stood at the opposite side of the street with a smile. "So you're one of the gundam pilots, then." The man nodded. Judging from what they wore, they were likely homeless. Duo sighed, taking off his helmet and putting the gun away. "Ah, I see. I thought it might be you, Duo."

"I take it you know me from somewhere too."

"Not exactly. I saw what happened to the church, what they did to you. Father Maxwell would be proud of what you're accomplishing." The little girl at the man's side smiled widely up at him.

"You're out of your mind if you think a priest would be proud of a murderer."

"You're destined for a higher calling, Duo. It takes a lot of bravery to do be so selfless. This isn't just simple, mindless murder. The Lord has initiated this war, and he's chosen you to get the message across. It's a blessing in disguise."

"If you say so." Duo muttered.

"Perhaps you don't see it now, but you will in time. In the meantime, know that we're praying for you. All of us. Go out and win this war, Duo Maxwell, and carry that name with pride. He was a good man." Duo peered around more carefully now, spotting several watchers from the windows, and others from around corners. It wasn't long ago that he'd been one of them, getting by on whatever he could steal. Was that really what they thought of him? Perhaps Officer Boulei had been serious after all.

A loud sound turned all of their attentions skyward. Wing Zero had zipped by with Heavyarms in tow, disappearing out through the nearest shuttle port. Quatre's voice had brought Duo back to the present situation.

"Where are you, Duo! Get out before people get hurt, they're bringing mobile suits in force!" Duo turned back to the kids, giving each of them a long look before returning his attention to the older man.

"I'll try." He responded, throwing a two-fingered salute and sprinting off towards his destination. The man nodded after him, eyes to the sky as Deathscythe appeared from thin air with weapons drawn to stave off the reinforcements that had arrived to take him out.

"Long time no see, Maxwell." A look at his left monitor had shown the appearance of the gundam lovingly nicknamed Nataku beside him. Wufei's com link settled itself beside the rest of the pilots on Duo's screen and the braided boy afforded him a friendly wink. "What do you say we blow this Popsicle stand?"

"Quit stealing my lines." Duo smirked. The two took off through a hail of gunfire, escaping out into space only moments later. There they were met with the rest of their comrades with the exception of Quatre, who was broadcasting from their next destination.

"The shipments should be coming in to the L4 cluster soon. If you push it, you'll get there right on time." Quatre informed Duo, who nodded and took off from the group. The rest headed in the opposite direction. It was a good twenty minutes of flying in silence that gave Duo the time to think that he hadn't been afforded before. First that girl on the street, then Heero, and then those kids and that old guy. It had been the most stressful week he'd had in a long time, and at least one of those events shouldn't have been. The memory of Heero's hands on him came back to the front of his mind, and for a moment Duo wasn't sure if he should be turned on or scared to death. Maybe it was a one-time deal. Maybe not.

"Quatre, you there?" Duo sent out the signal to the blonde, who answered promptly.

"I'm here, what's up? Everything going alright?"

"Not there yet, I can see the colony coming up though." Duo scanned the area, letting the gundam's computer plot out the rest of the trip and surrounding opposition. A small light on the right panel flashed as Deathscythe entered into cloaking mode. Duo gripped the controls for a moment. "Is it just you and me?"

"Is this about earlier, Duo?"

"Kind of. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure thing, what is it?"

"What would you do if Trowa made a move on you?" Duo peered at the camera that held Quatre's picture. The boy was blinking rapidly.

"W-what do you mean, and why T-trowa?"

"It's hypothetical. Just answer the question, Quatre." The blonde seemed to immediately calm as if he'd just realized that he hadn't been caught doing something wrong. Perhaps Duo had caught him without meaning to. He appeared to think about it for a bit, but came up empty.

"I'm not really sure. I mean, I guess - wait a minute. Heero didn't... did he?"

"Story for another time, unfortunately. Transport at ten o'clock."

"Duo, that's some serious stuff! Did he or not! Don't you dare lea-" Duo hit the disconnect button, shaking his head as the auto-target brought his objective into focus. The Deathscythe burst forward and the great shinigami went into full force, breaking his cloak and laying waste to everything and anything within reaching distance. The only thing that had been left behind of the carnage was a shipment that Deathscythe picked up and dragged behind it as it took off again. Duo leaned back in the cockpit, ignoring the constant blinking on his screen of Quatre's attempted call-backs.

"Hey, don't judge me." Duo frowned, speaking to the gundam. "You don't have any input on this situation anyway. Robots can't get laid."

_Memento Mori. It's a useless statement to something like you, Deathscythe._


	4. Chapter 4

Duo hopped out of Deathscythe's cockpit after the gundam had been properly docked. He was met with Professor G, who pleasantly thanked the braided boy and gave him a handshake.

"Putting Deathscythe to good use, I see. Very good, I knew you could be counted on."

"Wait a minute, I'm on a mission? I thought I was just blowing shit up!" Duo smirked at the professor's raised eyebrow, but the infectiousness of it eventually caught up with him. The boy had always been a friendly person, and always determined. It was his competitive nature and natural skill that had attracted the professor towards Duo as a potential candidate for the Deathscythe's pilot. He had just enough skeletons in his closet to be an effective killer and as of yet, hadn't been a disappointment. The remainder of their conversation had been brief before Duo shouldered his bag and floated off towards the room he'd be keeping for the next several weeks.

"It is absolutely imperative that - why hello there, Mr. Maxwell." Dr. J waved a mechanical arm as Duo turned the corner. The boy stopped dead, nodding as respectfully as he could before catching sight of Heero, whom he'd been speaking with prior to the interruption. When neither of them seemed like good candidates to look at, he turned his eyes towards the ground. "Your appearance is good timing, I was just going over your next mission."

"That so?" Duo chanced a look upwards, making an effort to ignore the doctor and his creepy demeanor. He'd never cared for Dr. J or any of the others for that matter. He appreciated the skill it took to create such a war machine that he piloted, but that's about where it stopped.

"Indeed. You, Mr. Yuy here and Mr. Chang will be escorting the Maganacs into space. It seems as though Sandrock's repairs are out of their hands and they'll be sending him up via capsule. We need Mr. Winner to be ready as soon as possible and don't have time to wait."

"And I assume that OZ caught on, and plans to intercept it."

"Precisely."

"Fair enough. And Trowa?"

"It turns out that Heavyarms wasn't completely outfitted for space travel as you may have noticed back in L2." Duo pondered, nodding. True enough, the gundam had been dragged behind Wing Zero who thankfully had enough flying power to lift the massive Gatling gun of a machine. Duo shrugged, starting in the direction of his room with another polite nod. So much for enjoying space for a while. He waved lazily at both Trowa and Wufei as he passed their rooms, smiling to himself.

If there was anybody besides Quatre that he didn't mind the company of, it was Chang. Sure, he was a little hot-headed, but that's what made him so fun. The whole 'honorable samurai' thing was pretty funny too. Okay, so he just enjoyed laughing at the guy. What was so wrong about that? A few minutes later he'd found his own room, floating in and nearly changing gravity from the shock he'd gotten at who was sitting on his bed.

"Look, I love you Quatre, but this is turning into stalker behavior!" Duo gasped, grabbing at his chest as he tried to get his breath back. The blonde was frowning with a serious expression, unphased by Duo's dramatics. The braided boy sighed as Quatre started on a spiel, removing his clothes from his backpack along with a towel and soap. Ah, finally. That shower that he oh-so-deserved.

"I'm glad that you're back safe. You didn't answer my calls."

"This is starting to sound like we're going out or something." Duo muttered, unbraiding his hair.

"Duo, I'm being serious! You never told me what happened, and darn it, I'm not leaving until you do!" The statement almost sounded like a pout from Duo's point of view. He pulled off his over shirt, mentally reminding himself to leave the hair braided until after the clothes came off next time. He strode over towards the bathroom and turned on the water, then came back towards his bed. Quatre still sat there; it seemed as though he really wasn't going to disappear. Duo sighed.

"Nothing happened. It was hypothetical, remember?"

"Nothing, huh. That sure doesn't look like nothing, Duo." He looked at Quatre for a moment, then followed his gaze to his shoulder. All hope of covering it up was lost thanks to a barely noticeable set of teeth marks. Wait, when had that happened? Either way the now unbraided boy locked his door in case of prying eyes or ears, even worse. Quatre's gaze had gone from angry to entirely too concerned for Duo's liking. He hated when the blonde got like this. It was cute, but dammit!

"Fine." Duo snapped quickly. "Someone couldn't keep his hands to himself. Or... his teeth. That's all. He's not a wife beater, and I'm not dying. Are you satisfied?"

"You know how dangerous that is."

"Don't need to tell _me,_ I'm not the one making the moves here." Duo responded in aggravation. He removed his pants rather violently, nearly tripping over his own feet before stalking into the bathroom and engaging in the shower that he wanted more than talking to Quatre. Unfortunately the blonde followed him, eyes wide and voice filled with disbelief.

"I always wondered, but I never thought he'd actually do it!"

"You're clearly a better reader of intentions than I am." Duo muttered while he washed off.

"Dr. J can't find out about this."

"My lips are sealed, beautiful. If I'm feeling lucky, it'll never happen again."

"Why not?" Duo blinked, opening the screen far enough to shove his head out. Soap dripped onto the floor and Quatre jumped.

"Why not? Who was just talking about how much danger I'm in!" Duo made a face and returned to his shower, snapping the screen shut. Several moments of silence followed before he spoke again. "And besides. He doesn't play nice. You saw the proof." Duo scrubbed at his shoulder, hoping that he hadn't caught some kind of robot rabies from the perfect soldier. Another twenty minutes passed before Duo finally thought of himself as clean enough. Quatre moved back into his room and he dried off, climbing onto his bed. He allowed the blonde to brush his hair.

"Don't be mad at me, Duo. I'm just worried about you. You're my best friend."

"The last person who said that didn't last long."

"That Shinigami stuff is all in your head. It's one of those self-fulfilling prophecies that Rasid talks about. You can't keep blaming all that bad luck on yourself. Besides, the gundams are here to make it right, right?"

"Supposedly. Some crotchety old guy told me I was chosen by God. Hmph." Duo rolled his eyes as Quatre started on his braid and slouched forward tiredly.

"Maybe you were." The blonde responded softly. "War doesn't ever make sense, why would people want to kill each other? Maybe we're destined for it. God gave you the life he did to prepare you for what we're doing now. Perhaps OZ is the devil's minions, and we're the angels that will bring peace back to the colonies. Maybe we'll understand it when we're older."

"Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds?" Duo smirked, shaking his head.

"Not any crazier than Heero getting the jump on you."

"Touche." Quatre finished the braid and tied it off. He pushed it over Duo's shoulder and used his back as a pillow. The braided boy laughed silently for a moment. "You realize that still makes me an angel of death, right?" Quatre snickered, wrapping his arms around Duo's waist in a tight hug.

"Do you think he actually likes you?" Quatre sighed, content to stay where he was.

"I doubt it. There's only one way to find out."

"Be careful, Duo. You may not realize it, but people do care about you."

"Speaking for yourself, I assume." Duo smiled and cringed as Quatre hit him gently.

"The other pilots too. Howard, and Sally, and all those kids on L2. The Maganacs, and anybody who understands why we're doing this. You're important, Duo. If this war had never started, I may have never met you, and I'm glad that I did. I'm sure everyone else is too." The way he said it caused Duo to get butterflies and a goofy smile. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to keep from crying if the blonde kept it up. How someone could stay so positive in light of all the destruction going on, Duo had no idea. It was moments like these that made him realize why he'd become friends with the soft-spoken Arab, moments that made Duo sure that he'd take a bullet for the kid.

"All staff, please report to room four-thirteen at eleven hundred hours for a briefing." Duo tilted his head towards the sound, eyes moving down to the clock beside his bed. He immediately slid away from Quatre and put on a new change of clothes. As he was doing this, Quatre answered the knock at his door, taking a step back so Duo could see who it was. Wufei put both hands in the air and stepped away from the door.

"Interrupting something? Meeting in ten, Maxwell." Quatre snickered as Duo raised an eyebrow at the Chinese boy, rolling his eyes. However, a view of the boy behind him turned both pilots somber. Heero watched the both of them silently, moving on only moments later. Trowa came up behind him, beckoning Quatre with a finger. The blonde boy looked back at Duo with an 'it'll be alright' smile before heading after the group. Duo shook his head and followed the parade beside Wufei with his hands shoved into his pockets.

The meeting had been nothing interesting. The pilots had been formally introduced to the crew that would be working on their machines, and any upgrades since the last workup were noted. Duo passed notes with Quatre (some of which were intercepted by Trowa, after which he'd look between the two suspiciously), and eventually they'd gotten to the meat and potatoes of the thing. Several missions had been laid out that they were to accomplish over the next few weeks. Even Duo agreed that some of them seemed like suicide. It wasn't until nearly two in the morning that the group was finally released.

"See ya'll in the morning." Duo yawned, stretching out. After a tentative wave to the group, he headed off towards his room. It wasn't until he reached the door that the braided boy had stopped to think. There was indeed only one way to find out the answer to his question. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer. Life without Yuy would be much more simple, but whether things happened between them or not, they'd still have to deal with each other. Duo rolled his eyes to himself, turning away from his room and skirting down several hallways.

He'd stepped into Heero's room since the door was open. The Japanese boy sat on his bed with a laptop, ticking away at what, Duo couldn't guess. Heero had realized he was being watched and turned his eyes upon the guest, but said nothing. Duo assumed he could walk in and did so, leaning on the wall beside the door. The room was dimly lit, but Heero never did seem to be fond of bright lights. Bright anything, really. Darkness was safe, Duo could understand that. Several long minutes had passed before any words were spoken.

"Did you need something." Heero didn't interrupt his work to pose what sounded more like a statement than a question. The answer that he sought didn't come quickly, however. Duo spent the next several minutes thinking of how to bring up an issue to a robot. Perhaps the boy had forgotten that he was even there. Why was he letting something this stupid get under his skin?_ Why should Heero be any different than anybody else?_

Duo had nearly pissed himself off with all the internal arguing before finally stepping away from the wall and towards Heero, who looked up long enough to have his laptop plucked from his hands. Duo threw all caution to the wind, leaning in unbearably close to him; it put him off for a moment that Heero hadn't attempted to stop him yet. It took more courage than he'd expected, but he'd planted a kiss on the boy's lips that ended up getting more extreme than he'd planned for. When Duo finally pulled away, he realized that he'd been holding his breath.

"That's all I wanted."

"That's it."

"Mm." Duo moved away from the boy, heading towards the door. Oh, how he wanted to stay.

"Was there a point to that?" Heero inquired in his usual monotone, replacing his laptop to its former position on his legs. The clicking continued as Duo stopped in the doorway.

"Yeah."

"Which was?"

"Makin' sure that yesterday wasn't a fluke." He turned around and waved at Heero, who stared at him for a moment as if he'd just drawn an incredibly large blank. He still hadn't been able to make sense of it before the boy and his braid disappeared from view. Perhaps he hadn't made it obvious enough to the Deathscythe pilot the first time around that the feeling was mutual. Then again, the concept of feelings often went up and over the Wing pilot's head. Even more so now that he was in the company of a man who allowed him no compassion whatsoever. There had always been thoughts in Heero's head; it was the only thing that Dr. J couldn't take away from him.

At this moment, those thoughts were on Duo. He wondered what the boy had been talking about with Quatre and if it had anything to do with what just occurred. The thought process was cut short, however, since only minutes after Duo left, Dr. J was standing in his place.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"Asked about the meeting." Heero responded immediately. It was a blatant lie, but telling the truth was hardly an option. The doctor shook his head, and his clawed hand twitched.

"Of course, always so forgetful. Annoying little rat that one is."

"Hm." Heero returned to his work and the doctor continued on his stroll.

_Memento Mori. I often find myself knocking on death's doorstep these days._


	5. Chapter 5

_"Heero seems to be spending quite a bit of time with your rat."_

_"Is that unusual? For kids to mingle?" Professor G shook his head as he and Dr. J stood in the main foyer of their base of operations. Before them sat nothing but the expanse of space and a view of Earth that could make even the hardest of men stare in awe. Neither of the elderly men could enjoy it, however. Dr. J made a sound that he imagined to be distaste._

_"Their focus needs to be on the mission, not each other. You know as well as I that friendship or anything else is a luxury that we can't afford these days."_

_"Perhaps not. But perhaps that 'rat' can do your boy some good. He won't be a soldier forever."_

_"He is right now," The man sighed, arm twitching. "And will continue to be until he's no longer needed. I've no idea what he's trying to hide, but I don't like it. The last thing I need is for Maxwell's personality to start rubbing off on him."_

_"So he has a name, now?" Professor G smirked. "Must be serious. If Duo is truly such an issue, I implore you to deal with it however you see fit. These boys may be talented, but they're hardly indispensable. We both know that."_

_"That we do."_

**2 weeks later**

"Jesus! When they said that we'd get intercepted, like hell if I'd imagined this!" Duo cursed as his gundam's scythe tore through another mobile suit. Deathscythe's arm pushed backwards as soon as the deed was done, stabbing through a suit that had attempted to attack him from behind. Every monitor was filled with the enemy, and the numbers didn't seem to stop. He jettisoned away from the area as Wing Zero's buster rifle fired on a group of the suits that couldn't get out of the way fast enough.

"Rasid! Is Sandrock even operable?" Quatre called from the base. The Maganac leader nodded in affirmation.

"He'll work, but he's slow. I wouldn't recommend what you're about to attempt, Master Qua-damnit." The blonde immediately took off from the chair. There was just no stopping the boy from assisting his team-mates regardless of the danger involved. He'd been assigned to protect Quatre, but found that Quatre was often the one protecting him. To be fair, the three gundams on the field and as much of the army as Rasid could afford to send up were more than out manned. What had started as a simple fight was now turning into a struggle but like hell if the pilots would give up one of their precious machines to the enemy without a fight to remember!

After a while, Duo gave up on single-manning the battle and began to gun down as many mobile suits as he could with all the ammo he had, which for Deathscythe, was unfortunately, not much. Heero was sure he could hear the self-proclaimed Shinigami singing the imperial march as rows of the machines exploded into pieces from Shenlong's fire blasts. As soon as the captain of the next mobile suit team saw Wing Zero positioning itself for another shot from the buster rifle, they scattered. Unfortunately, the system within Heero's gundam had already predicted the move and fired upon them with deadly efficiency while the perfect soldier sorted out his next targets from the sea of red upon the screen.

"Hang on a little bit longer, I'm shuttling in from the north." Quatre re-appeared on the screen in a spacesuit, haven taken one of the emergency ships on a little joy ride straight into hell. Duo had taken the initiative to meet the blonde as his ship arrived, using Deathscythe's armor as a shield for Quatre to get into the gundam's pod without getting shot.

"Sir! Gundam 03 is manned, I repeat, Gundam 03 is manned!" A soldier shouted as a group of them witnessed the pod that Sandrock was encased in sliced into quarters as the Gundam fought its way out.

"Who gives a damn! Destroy it! Kill them all!"

"Ready, Quatre?" Duo grinned as the blonde's com link appeared, and the blades that his gundam wielded began to glow fiercely in preparation for slicing some unfortunate mobile suits to bits.

"Ready as I'll ever be. Heero, coordinates please." As if on queue, each of the gundam's and Maganac mobile suits' screens filled with information as the Wing Zero passed on its assumption of how the battle should end in their favor. It was an amazing system as far as Quatre was concerned, and he was only just as glad that he no longer had to use it. The zero system didn't believe in survivors, but neither did Heero. _Perhaps that's why they got along so well, he and Duo._

To the unassuming eye, nothing unusual was going on between the two pilots. Their days went on just as they had before and missions were completed with just as much efficiency as before. Duo wasn't any less hostile towards the 'perfect soldier' much to Dr. J's disappointment and reminders to his collegue that he should've picked someone smarter. What happened behind closed doors, however, was a different story, and Quatre was the only other one who knew it. They were hardly a 'couple' as typical conventions went, but as far as the blonde was concerned.. it was something.

"Retreat! Retreat!" Those were the only words any of the soldiers could hear over their communication devices as the gundams spread out on their killing path. Every time the enemy thought they might escape, the zero system recalculated for every system on the field. It was practically information overload for Heero but he wasn't required to do much else but shoot at whatever avoided death from a previous attacker; the computer had spared him that much stress, this time.

"Good job, guys." Quatre panted, sitting back in his gundam as the very last enemy was dispatched. Duo ran a hand through his bangs and let out a breath. The Maganacs cheered, and Wufei nodded. Heero closed his eyes for a moment, fighting back the headache of following so many targets as the system fell back into sleep mode. He was pleased with himself, however. The zero system used to do much worse, and he still remembered how very sick it used to make him while he was still new to it. The two of them had come a long way since then.

Once the boys had arrived back at the base, a delicious dinner waited for them and their new guests which all received gratefully. Heero had opted out of the meal, instead moving immediately to his room to lay down. Perhaps the battle had worn on him more than he'd realized; as tasty as all that food smelled, the thought of it made him sick to his stomach. Away from the lights, away from the noise... Heero just needed to get away. Meanwhile, Duo had enjoyed tossing a California roll at Quatre, who very nearly threw his chopsticks back at the boy before realizing that he was supposed to be acting like someone a little more noble than that.

After the meal, Duo made it a point to take some food with him down to Heero's room. He still hadn't come back two hours later. He slid into the darkness of the room quietly, setting the plate down on the side table; Heero was out cold. He afforded himself a tiny smile that quickly turned to suspicion as the Japanese boy's eyes opened to stare at him.

"Brought some goodies, figured you'd eat it eventually." Duo tilted his head. Heero nodded faintly. The braided boy sighed, shaking his head and moving into Heero's bathroom. He poured a glass of water and headed over towards where Heero was now sitting up. He handed the boy the water and some pills from out of his pocket, which Heero took (but not without inspecting them thoroughly).

"Arigato." He managed to mutter. Duo smiled.

"I'm guessing that devil computer's still givin' you hell."

"Mm."

"Ah well. Get back to snoozin'. Food's not going anywhere." Duo gave Heero a light pat on the back and stood back while the boy slid back to his pillow and went straight back to sleep as if he'd never been awake. Perhaps he hadn't. Either way Duo exited the room with a smirk and headed back down the hall to rejoin his comrades. He'd nearly gotten there before being stopped dead by Dr. J one hall short.

"And where have you been?" Duo raised an eyebrow at the elder man who had been following him around rather suspiciously for the last week and a half. It was getting far more annoying than Duo would ever admit to him, but he responded truthfully nonetheless.

"Brought some leftovers down to Yuy so he doesn't starve."

"He's far from starving, but if you'd be so kind to get him for me, I have some things I'd like to go over." The look on his face caused the doctor quite a bit of suspicion.

"Go over that he ain't up to it-"

"Which is completely irrelevant, Mr. Maxwell."

"With all due respect, I doubt he could fucking _walk straight_, let alone listen to whatever BS you've gotta say." The doctor's eyes narrowed.

"Don't you dare take that tone with me, boy."

"Or _what_." Duo spat back immediately. The doctor raised his cane for a moment, then continued along down the hall away from the defiant teen. He'd been holding back on the street rat, but this moment had helped push the decision to go through with his intentions. He spoke with his back turned, and Duo's eyebrows furrowed from trying to decipher what he'd been told.

"There was a famous president in your country who once said, 'speak softly, and carry a big stick'. You do not speak softly, nor do you carry a stick threatening enough to overstate your orders. You _will_ die on this hill, Duo." Quatre happened to be passing by just in time to hear the last words and made quick to grab the boy who'd looked ready to attack the doctor.

"Who the hell does he think he is!" Duo yelled, fighting against the grip that had him solidly grounded. He hadn't heard anything that Quatre said to him past the haze of dislike for the doctor who'd already turned the corner and been long gone from the confrontation. At some point the braided boy had finally stopped fighting. He slouched in defeat, eyes burning the end of that hall. He'd just made a fatal mistake, letting his emotions take over with the wrong person. He spun around and away without a word to Quatre, who was forced to look after him with no words for the situation.

**2 days later**

"You ready to go?" Quatre poked his head into Duo's room. The teen had just gotten his things together for their next mission. The objective had not been explained to them in any amount of great detail; the whole thing sounded as cryptic as Dr. J's last words. Duo zipped up his jacket and headed out after the blonde. The two decided to race for it, flying around corners and making an amusing little game out of dodging every staff member that happened to be in the right place at the wrong time. Their laughing had been cut short, however.

Dr. J stood beside Heero (who had recovered well after a good nights' sleep) and the others who waited for a better explanation of what they were about to take on. It was the last person Duo wanted to see, and he made it obvious to the doctor who did little else but smile at him.

"We're all here, then." The doctor smiled. Quatre tilted his head.

"What's this about?" He asked curiously.

"This mission does not require leaving the bay." The doctor nodded, moving forward and starting on a circuit around the group. "Heero, your gun." He motioned towards the boy who drew the weapon as told. "Do you see Mr. Maxwell over there?"

"Yes."

"Kill him." The group immediately turned their attention from each other to the doctor in disbelief. Was he serious? The look on his partially mechanical face told no lies.

"What?" Heero repeated, just as lost as the rest.

"I said, _kill_ him. Take the gun in your hand, and shoot him."

"But Do-"

"Since when is it your place to question me, Heero?" The doctor snapped at him suddenly. Quatre put a hand to his mouth as the Japanese boy refrained from any further argument. He cocked the pistol, aiming point-blank at the braided boy's chest. Duo threw his hands in the air, mouth wide open and eyes shifting between the pilots who could hardly believe what they were seeing.

"Would any of you care enough to take a bullet for this rat? You're welcome to take his place." Duo's eyes moved to meet Heero's, as if pleading with him to change his mind. The typical lifelessness within them frightened him. Even if he didn't want to do it, he had to, and Duo knew exactly why; someone had figured it out.

"Heero, don't... you can't!" Quatre begged as the boy's finger brushed the trigger.

"You're a fucking nutcase!" Duo screamed at the doctor, hands still raised. Dr. J smirked, tapping his cane. Heero continued to keep the gun poised to shoot. Even the usually quiet WuFei's face was plastered with confusion. Why would he order one of his own pilots to death?

"_Memento Mori._ Do you know what that means, Mr. Maxwell?"

"Latin. Remember that you are mortal. Remember to die." Trowa was hardly able to whisper as the braided boy came up to a frantic blank. The doctor nodded slowly, coming up beside Heero once again. Quatre continued to plead with him softly, though it didn't appear as though he was listening.

"We often forget our place in society, in this line of work. We forget that we are as much flesh and blood as our brethren in the colonies, our relatives on the Earth. Unfortunately, we often need a reminder of what we're fighting for, and why your involvement with my work," He tapped his cane in Heero's direction. "requires a hard example that others must learn from."

"You're sick." Duo stammered, taking a step backwards. His eyes moved between the gun and Heero, neither of which was backing down. "This is the craziest shit I've ever heard! God, fuck you!"

"Please, Heero..." Quatre sniffled, but the soldier's attention was again pulled away.

"If you need a reason, he's compromised the mission. This is the decision that we've come to." The doctor said quietly, eyes set on the braided boy who seemed about ready to lose it. Heero knew the other pilots didn't want him to do it, and he could hear Quatre's words perfectly. He didn't want to do it himself. Not now, not after everything that had happened. A piece of his humanity had finally surfaced, and he didn't want to let it go. The doctor slammed his cane into the ground. "What are you waiting for! I said _shoot him_!"

Quatre screamed, and the shot rang out. The pilots cringed, turning their attention towards Duo. He was still as a stone, staring down at the hole in his chest that began pouring blood immediately. His hands lowered slowly, and the last thing he'd seen was the look of remorse in Heero's eyes as blackness consumed him. Quatre ran to Duo's side, crying for him to wake up as he bled out on the floor. "Get a doctor! Somebody get a goddamn doctor!" He screamed, holding onto the dying boy as Wufei sprinted off towards the medical ward. Dr. J frowned.

"You missed." He said softly as Duo suddenly coughed, writhing about weakly from the agony of a bullet in his chest, unable to regain sight from the amount of blood he'd lost and sure that this was the place he was going to die.

"Stay with me, Duo. Come on!" Quatre continued to encourage him through his tears. The medical team had arrived shortly thereafter to take him away on a stretcher, leaving nothing but a crimson puddle where he once lay. Heero continued to stare at the spot, gun still in hand, and still pointed at the place where the braided baka had once been standing. He'd deliberately aimed lower, missed his heart by less than an inch. He'd survive, though barely. At least, that's what he hoped for. Trowa stood there as well, eyes set upon the soldier who'd unquestioningly done what he was told.

"I'm disappointed in you, Heero." Dr. J said before hobbling away with an upset shake of his head. If he truly wanted, he could order the boy's death from the medical staff. He was in no way obligated to hold onto useless street rats unable to properly pilot their suits. The point had been made, however, and that was enough for him. Professor G would be elated to know that his pilot had managed to survive the day that he'd been slated to die.

_Memento Mori. It was a hard reminder to everyone that day. There's no such thing as happy endings._


	6. Chapter 6

**Note: **As embarrassing as this is to admit, I really didn't have a plot in mind with this. I'm guessing it'll just go where it goes at this point. It's more of a work of art than anything, hopefully it isn't too confusing to follow. Will Quatre get over his fear of the zero system, and whatever will Duo do now that he's officially bed-ridden?

* * *

><p><em>I couldn't tell you how many times I must've drifted in and out of consciousness, or how many times they'd had to drag me back from the grave when I was more than ready to finally follow the light. For the first time in my life, I was actually prepared to die, even welcomed it. To get away from all the stress and the people I'd come to hate. What a relief that would've been.<em>

_Too bad I'm still alive._

"The enemy's numbers are only growing in size, and now we're down a pilot." Professor G sighed to himself. When he'd suggested that Dr. J handle the situation in a way he'd seen fit, he hadn't exactly meant in the way that it had been done. Regardless, Heero and Quatre stood in the very same room in which the discussion had taken place.

"Heavyarms should be finished by this afternoon." Heero said in his usual monotone.

"I'd like Quatre to pilot the Deathscythe while Sandrock receives the proper repairs. It turns out that they weren't as simple as we'd initially thought. Your win during his shipment was a fluke at best." Professor G shook his head, peering out into the deep reaches of space. Quatre blinked several times, head tilted to the side. It had only been a few days since Duo's near death experience, and the young blonde hadn't completely gotten over it. There was a distance to his eyes, a dis-attachment that Heero had not seen before. He didn't care to know anymore than what he saw.

"I'm not familiar with the controls, sir. I'd need some practice." Quatre responded.

"Naturally, and unfortunately such time isn't available."

"But how-"

"I'll do it." Heero interrupted.

"And the Wing Zero?" Professor G inquired calmly.

"Quatre can pilot it. He's done it before." The Arab immediately turned his eyes upon Heero, and Professor G nodded in agreement before heading along on his way. The door to the room had slid shut before Quatre could bring himself to stammer out the words he'd been looking for.

"Zero? No, Heero. I can't. Not that system, you know that!"

"Unless you know of someone else, we don't have any other options."

"To _hell_ with the options!" The boy shouted, and for a moment Heero was sure the blonde might cry. "I told myself a long time ago that I wouldn't step into that- you know what happened last time." There was a silence between them for what seemed like hours. Quatre knew that he wasn't going to give in to his decision and being who he was, there was no superseding it. He felt trapped and cornered, and unable to do anything but nod in a silent understanding that this was the way things had to be. It was of some consolation to the blonde that the soldier would also have his work cut out for him; learning a whole new system wasn't easy and the only thing he really had to go off of was observation.

"Have you visited him?" Quatre asked quietly, breaking the silence. Heero stepped over towards a computer and began his usual string of work. His answer came just as Quatre was sure he wouldn't answer at all.

"No."

"I doubt it would hurt to let him know about this."

"You tell him, then." That response had come much more quickly than the last. It was obvious that the Japanese boy had little interest in where the conversation was going. Quatre's brows furrowed and he frowned slightly. Heero was literally Duo's polar opposite when it came to personality or lack thereof. Personal issues weren't something that he discussed, and he'd never been good for casual conversation. In fact, he was perfectly content to spend his days alone, locked away. If it weren't for others who knew bits of information about the perfect soldier, the team could've only considered him a complete stranger up until this point. Quatre sighed.

"It wasn't your fault. You were following orders, Heero." This had not garnered a response from the boy. He was lost to his work and clearly ignoring Quatre, who shook his head and walked out feeling no better than when he'd entered. What Duo found attractive about a lifeless zombie, Quatre had no idea. Perhaps the situation between them had only been skin-deep and not at all meaningful. He did his best to put these thoughts behind him as he went by the infirmary.

"Is he now?" Duo sighed as Quatre filled him in, cringing from the discomfort it caused him. The lucky survivor was hooked up to a dozen different monitors and a morphine drip to contend with the screwed up insides and broken ribs he'd acquired from a point-blank shot to the chest. Even with all of this he'd still attempted to sit up and walk around much to the nurse's annoyance. Sure, the kid was a trooper, but he had to sit still if he wanted anything to heal correctly! "Bastard."

"I would've done it myself." Quatre intervened quickly.

"Nah, I get it." Duo shook his head, and the blonde pushed the braided boy's bangs from his eyes. "Shooting me wasn't bad enough, now he's gotta fuck around with Deathscythe and melt your brain."

"It's not like that, Duo." He sighed.

"What's it like, then." He demanded, eyes filled with a darkness that Quatre didn't often see.

"I already know how to pilot Wing Zero, and Heero's really good at learning new systems. I promise there's no inherent plan to ruin you. I know it's not easy, but you really shouldn't think so ill of him." Quatre smiled sadly as the boy stuck his nose in the air to the best of his ability, cobalt eyes rolling angrily. It was then that Quatre realized that whether Duo wanted to admit it or not, he actually gave a damn about the perfect soldier in some way. The event had clearly shot a hole through his pride.

"He's paid for it ten times over already. Keeping you alive, that is." Quatre sighed. Duo turned his eyes upon him and the blonde sat on Duo's bed. "Dr. J's been sending him on suicide missions. It's like he's just hoping Heero won't make it back or that it'll burn whatever's left of.. whatever you had, out of him."

"Good."

"Why is that good?" Quatre nearly demanded, fingers gripping the sheets. "Don't you care about him at all?"

"I thought I did." Duo muttered, eyes wandering towards the window on the far side of the room. As if on queue, Deathscythe's cloaking mechanism wore off and the machine went shooting across their view. Heero had wasted no time at all getting acquainted with the machine. Duo looked away from the window, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of someone else handling his gundam.

"Don't be angry at him because of that." The blonde sighed, picking up the end of Duo's braid and playing with it mindlessly. "He cares too, just - doesn't have a good way of showing it."

"Figured that out a while ago." The braided boy said defeatedly. A moment later, a call over the intercom had taken Quatre away from him. Again he was left to steam over being taken out of the game, over how stupid Dr. J and his 'perfect soldier' were, and about someone touching his stuff. Especially that particular someone. He chanced another look out the window and spent the rest of his waking hours staring at his gundam do movement circuits. At some point he couldn't help but smile. It would drive Heero crazy that Deathscythe was slower than Zero in more ways than one. A small sense of pride that Duo was Deathscythe's piloting guru kept him at least somewhat pleasant until the machine disappeared from view.

"Damnit, Mr. Maxwell, you shouldn't be moving!" The nurse shouted as she entered the infirmary. Against the braided boys wishes he was pushed back into a laying position.

"As hard as it is for you people to understand, I've got things I need to be doing."

"And as hard as it is for you to understand, the more you move, the less time you have to heal." The lady sighed, patting the boy's head and raising an eyebrow as it was swatted away. "I was from L2 too, you know. I know what it's like down there, but that's not where you are anymore, Mr. Maxwell. You're not going to get up and walk away from an injury like this."

"Like hell if I'm not gonna try." Duo muttered, but the nurse pushed his chest down as he attempted to get up.

"Between you and Mr. Yuy, I'm not sure who's more stubborn." She sighed. "They push you kids too hard. Please just attempt to relax? For the rest of the day?" Unfortunately the kindness she'd offered the braided boy went over his head. Heero stood in the doorway peering between them. His presence startled the nurse when she'd turned around, and caused Duo to frown deeply. If it weren't for the woman standing between them, Duo would have made a leap at the Japanese boy. He had no idea what Quatre was talking about; it was the same old Heero as before with even less expression.

"I need to speak with Duo." He muttered, entering the room without permission. While the medical staff hadn't been informed of any reason to keep the boys separated, the nurse didn't feel at all comfortable with leaving them alone together. The look in Duo's eyes was murderous and she'd just told him to sit still. Not going to happen. Regardless, she unwillingly stepped from the room.

"What could you possibly have to say to me." Duo hissed.

"You're left handed." Duo did a double-take, blinking rapidly.

"So?"

"Deathscythe's right side is slow."

"And tight on the right hook, I know. This is important why?"

"Something to get used to." The boy muttered. "Anything else about you I should know?"

"I wanted to die that day." Duo looked away, eyes settling on the window. Heero had nothing to say on the matter, since the comment had been completely irrelevant to the discussion. The Japanese boy turned away from Duo's bed, leaning on the window that separated the room from the hallway.

"Deathscythe can't handle the Zero System, Quatre will be behind the controls."

"You must really get a kick out of fucking with people."

"The Wing Zero was built for it-"

"Why the hell didn't you just kill me?" The braided boy demanded. His words were cracked and for the first time since he'd promised himself that he'd never cry, tears slid down his cheeks. It was embarrassing to lose it in front of someone like him. "It's bad enough having to watch all these people die, killing people you used to be friends with for no goddamn reason. Hell, I was looking forward to finally getting some peace. Damnit.." He sniffed, wiping his eyes and attempting to regain the composure that wasn't coming back.

"Duo." Heero spoke to the window.

"Yeah..."

"Shut up." It was the last thing out of his mouth. He turned his head only enough to get a fleeting glance at the braided boy. Duo closed his eyes and nodded, forcing a smile. As much as he hated Heero Yuy in that moment, he was right. There was a time and a place for everything. Before anything further could be said between them Heero left the room. The few moments of regained silence gave the braided boy some time to breathe. He stared at the expanse of space and thought of home again. It was then that he'd finally had a melt-down, and it continued until he'd fallen asleep.

"Dolls coming up at four o-clock." Quatre sat behind the controls of the very gundam he wanted nothing to do with while Heavyarms and Deathscythe ran into the battle with guns and scythes flying. The layout was all too familiar and hadn't been altered except for some barely noticable adjustments. Quatre stayed back, taking up the rear; there was no way in hell that he was going to use that system if he could help it.

"Watch your right, Heero." The soldier didn't have to be told twice as he spun around to deal with a doll that had attempted to sneak up on him. He frowned deeply as the machine fell to pieces, twitching the slow arm in annoyance. That needed to be fixed if he was going to be doing this for any length of time. Before he could think on it, the gundams were surrounded again.

"This isn't looking good." Trowa muttered over the com link, releasing a number of bombs into the fray and keeping a close eye on his remaining ammunition. This particular attack was again more than they had been expecting. He thought that perhaps next time he should start planning for the unexpected. Thankfully, Shenlong had joined them to ease the attack moments later.

"I suggest you fire up that system, Quatre." Wufei said, swearing as several dolls shot him dead-on in the arms. They were getting better at predicting the gundams' moves, and a dozen more of the machines were headed straight for Wing Zero, as they recognized it as the most threatening (regardless of the fact that it wasn't moving). Quatre dodged the group, flying off to a safe distance and closing his eyes for a moment. You can do this.. just this once.

Just as before, the system jumped to life at its calling and began to calculate the game it was now playing. It also took into account that its pilot was not Heero, changing up its own usual attack method to suit Quatre's lack of speed. Unfortunately the blonde had little interest in following the program's instructions. The rest of the gundams were given their orders, and they immediately moved on them... but it wasn't enough with one player out of the game. The blonde was ignorant to their calls, however.

"Quatre, wake up!" Heero nearly barked, gritting his teeth as the dolls' attacks became far more violent in response to the new situation. Several of them had caught onto Deathscythe's cloaking tricks, forcing the pilot within to stand off more than he would've... which was causing problems. What they needed was a good hard hit from the Zero's buster rifle, but the blonde piloting him didn't seem to be alive or responsive. A quick pull-up of the inside of the gundam showed that just as Heero secretly expected, he'd lost it.

"Professor G," Heero called up the doctor who appeared in a screen not long after.

"Yes?"

"Can Deathscythe handle a buster rifle?" Heero asked in his usual monotone. Wufei stopped what he was doing for a moment to boggle at the ridiculous suggestion. Trowa shot a doll away from Wing Zero, who was on the verge of getting swarmed.

"What the-! HEY! NO!" Duo watched the fight from one of the many monitors in the building, staring in disbelief at what was about to occur. It was all the adrenaline the braided boy needed to get out of his bed and stalk down the halls, fighting against the nurses and shoving Professor G out of the way. "You put that fucking thing down or so help me, Heero, I'll-!"

"He's not built for it. The skeleton is much lighter than Wing, it isn't designed to take that kind of pressure."

"Worst case scenario?"

"You blow yourself to bits." Trowa raised an eyebrow as the Deathscythe immediately flew towards its destination. With a bit of force he was able to wrestle the gun out of Wing Zero's hand, groaning from how difficult it was to even raise the thing for a clear shot.

After Duo had gotten his anger out, it wasn't quite as difficult to control the boy who was finally forced to take a seat from the pain he was in. It was then that Duo had gotten a look at what was actually going on. Quatre was either passed out or spaced out, the enemy was getting closer by the second, Trowa was down to almost no bullets and Wufei was running out of options to help. He sighed, gritting his teeth.

"Duo." Heero called in, bringing the boy's attention to the screen again. He hadn't yet pulled the trigger. He hadn't even been able to stabilize it. Professor G peered down at the pained teen, who simply shook his head angrily.

"Lean back, he's top heavy. Can use it as leverage if you're lucky." He muttered grudgingly. The soldier did as he was instructed and as luck would have it, the target finalized. He didn't pull the trigger, however. Duo sighed at the boy behind the controls.

"Do it."

"Roger." And so it was done. The beam powered up and the camera within the Deathscythe's cockpit shivered. Heero kept his fingers on the controls, expression blank as pieces of the gundam's fingers began to break from the pressure. Duo closed his eyes, unwilling to see the damage that would inevitably be done to his baby. All he could hear was the crash of gundanium and the voice of Wufei as the gun finally fired on the dolls, laying the majority to waste. The force of the blow had caused one of the inside screens to shatter. Heero hissed as several pieces of glass flew at him like shrapnel. Three of them stuck, the largest in his arm. Regardless, he wasn't finished yet. Heero activated another shot, using the nearby Wing Zero as a post to keep it from swinging off-course.

"Woah, woah!" Wufei exclaimed as the gun fired, eyes on the machine who's arms had folded under the gun's power. Melted, twisted and broken all the way to the shoulders. The cockpit had cracked and several of the lights had shattered both there and on the helm.

"Mission... Accomplished." The perfect soldier muttered as he reached over to pull out the glass that caused him to bleed all over what was left of the cockpit. The cracked screens showed nothing but waste where a sea of dolls once stood. The second shot had done it, and unfortunately had not done him. Duo could only stare at the ground as the boys let out their breaths. Quatre had finally begun to shake violently, mumbling something. For several moments it was as if he were having a conversation with the zero system that still diligently scanned the skies for enemies.

"Heero." Duo said quietly.

"What."

"Fuck you."

"Severe rotary damage, unresponsive targeting system, weak com signal, cloaking mechanism destroyed, scythe severely disabled, head guns jammed. Dear Jesus, Yuy. If anybody knows how to turn the ultimate fighting machine into a scrap of metal, it's you. Would've done just as well if you'd self-destructed. That wasn't even half the list." A mechanic sighed over Deathsythe, the machine he and his crew had been assigned to. Several dozen men toiled over measurements and readings. Heero stood beside Professor G, who, while clearly aggravated, said nothing to the boy beside him. Heero did what he had to, and for that there was no harm, no foul. Just a lot of money for repairs. Quatre was removed from Wing Zero kicking and screaming while the two looked on.

"They're coming, they're coming! Put me down, don't let them get me, they're COMING DAMNIT! Rasid! Rasid! Father, help!"

"Can someone get me a tranquilizer?" One of the male nurses muttered, fighting against the boy who was stronger than he looked. Only moments later the needle had been shoved unceremoniously into Quatre's arm. The blonde screamed all the louder, cringing and biting against the men taking him towards the medical ward. He convulsed for a moment as the medicine started to take effect, eyes fluttering.

"They're coming...he told me they're coming, don't... don't let them..."

"Calm down, Mr. Winner. You'll be just fine."

"I don't... I don't wanna die..." He whimpered through streaming tears, finally passing out. The nurse hoisted Quatre into his arms and took him away. Heero turned his head as they passed behind him. Professor G continued staring forward, eyes concentrated hard on something. Trowa headed after the blonde, unzipping his jacket and tossing it over his shoulder casually. He and Heero exchanged glances, but no words. He didn't have to tell Heero that he'd made a bad move, and neither did Wufei who had finally finished a discussion with his own mechanics. If he were of any other mindset, Heero would've rolled his eyes. It was like being shunned from the lunch table at school or something. How was it his fault that Quatre was too weak-minded to handle the system?

"I've seen some interesting things in my day, but that. Hmph." Professor G broke the silence, causing Heero to peer up at him. "I suppose that's what happens when you put someone as flawed as him into a game that doesn't accept failure."

"Hn."

"You do fairly well, all things considered." The doctor muttered casually.

"Those things being?" Heero inquired formally.

"You're just as human as the rest of the boys, Heero, regardless of Doctor J's opinion."

"Perhaps."

"Even I'll admit that you're damn good at hiding the doctor's failures." He smirked, wandering away from the space.

"Failures?"

"Your emotions." The doctor stated with his back turned, continuing on his walk around the gundam bay without Heero. "Although, I'm curious about what the Zero System might have been saying to Quatre to put him in such a state." Heero hardly heard the last words. The Japanese boy stood there thoughtfully for several minutes, mind running over the conversation several times in an effort to make sense of it. Did that have anything to do with the battle, that he'd had the decency to ask before destroying Duo's machine? He headed towards Wing Zero, taking the zip line up to the cockpit and sitting down with a heavy plop. The flick of a button brought up the machine's technical information which he skimmed over.

Just for curiosities sake, Heero typed in the command to open the Zero system. The system's created formula that never reached its fellow pilots still sat on the screen before falling blank. It played several war games with itself, as if greeting its regular pilot, and listed off several statistics of the last battle including the state of the Deathscythe. Heero tilted his head. Nothing unusual. A moment of thought caused the boy to flip back to the last battle plan. It played out in red marks littered across all monitors, but something wasn't quite right. The numbers didn't match up. Had they not destroyed the enemy completely?

"What am I missing here, Zero." Heero muttered at the screen, scanning everything over more carefully this time. "What did Quatre see..."

He replayed the information a dozen times, eyes shooting from one dot to the other, following the movements. The numbers were even different this time, than the last one. It was as if the Zero system was changing the battle plan even after the battle had finished, or predicting something else entirely. What Heero finally saw as the end result caused him to do a double take. He replayed it again, and again, and every time now the end was the same even if the game was different. Heero finally turned the system off, opening the cockpit and staring down at the hallway that Quatre had disappeared into.

The Zero System had predicted failure. According to the screen, they had all died.

"He'll be alright with a good night's rest." The nurse smiled at Trowa, who stood in the room that was occupied now by both Duo and Quatre. The blonde was passed out cold in the bed beside Duo's, though his dreams didn't appear to be any more pleasant than his waking hours had been. The braided boy had been forced back into his bed and at that moment didn't seem to be in the mood to talk. Once the nurse left, Trowa took a seat. There was nearly thirty minutes of silence before he'd finally said something.

"He's not up to this at all."

"Are any of us?" Duo responded with a snark.

"Some."

"So, what's the deal with you two, anyway." The American boy shifted in his bed, cringing from the discomfort. Trowa's eyes had settled upon him, but the gaze was not at all malicious. It seemed as though he was searching for something, perhaps the answer to the question, perhaps something else.

"What's the deal with Heero?"

"There is no deal."

"Not what I heard."

"Forget what you heard, and listen to what I'm telling you." Duo hissed the last half, gritting his teeth as the morphine took its time to kick back in. "There's nothing going on, there's no deal. The bastard can rot in hell so far as I'm concerned, and if I'm lucky, I'll be the one to put him there."

"Interesting."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Because I don't know the answer." Trowa shrugged casually. Duo stared, eyes full of suspicion. Was he serious, or trying to brush it off as unimportant? While Trowa was often as quiet and serious as Heero, he wasn't nearly as bottled up about what was going on in his head. It was generally a matter of asking the right questions. Seeing Duo with a confused look on his face caused the older boy to elaborate. "I'm his friend, Duo. I don't consider myself capable of anything more than that. Not with all that's happening; I can't afford to have him dragging me down."

"Dragging you down, huh." Duo raised an eyebrow, and Trowa resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"He's the weakest link in the chain, and you know it."

"Doesn't mean I have to say it."

"He's a good person, probably the kindest heart I've ever found. After it's all said and done, maybe. The mission comes first."

"What mission? The one where we throw ourselves at the dolls and pray we come out alive? The one where we get shunned out by the people we're supposedly fighting for? Or maybe the one where nobody gives a goddamn, that one was pretty fun." Trowa peered out the window while Duo mocked his answer. The words nearly dripped with sarcasm, and it was almost enough to cause the older boy to walk away. It was clear that Duo had some unresolved issues with the whole shooting incident. To be truthful, it was still in the back of his own mind as well. What had become an awkward silence was interrupted by the sight of Wufei in the doorway, peering boredly over at Quatre's sleeping form.

"How cute."

"He'll live." Trowa shrugged. The Chinese boy sauntered into the room, taking a seat beside Trowa.

"That was bad." He said quietly.

"The whole thing was bad."

"According to Zero, we're all dead." All three boys turned to see Heero in the doorway that Wufei had come from. Duo's eyes narrowed as the Japanese boy sat beside his bed; it was the only available seat. Both Trowa and Wufei appeared thoughtful. For the second or third time since they'd arrived on the base, all five pilots were in the same room, regardless of health. It was a melancholy meeting at best. The boys took the remainder of the night to discuss the almost failed mission, and much to Duo's surprise, Heero admitted out rightly that he'd made a bad decision. Quatre shouldn't have been put in charge of the zero system. Sandrock would be completed by the time the blonde came around, too. They also bantered on about their theories over why the zero system had malfunctioned so terribly. Duo's snarky response of 'it likes to fuck with people' was widely accepted by all but Heero.

"I'm going to sleep. See you all in the morning." Trowa rose to his feet after almost three hours of discussion and left the room. He peered at Duo on his way out and was promptly followed by Wufei. Heero didn't leave, and made no effort to. The braided boy was on the verge of slumber himself, but still managed some level of rudeness towards him.

"I'll never forgive you, you know." Duo spoke softly.

"Don't have to." Heero responded at the same voice level.

"We're also over." Duo added as an afterthought, having then realized that he'd never actually said it. As expected, the perfect soldier had no outward reaction other than to turn his eyes on Duo for a moment. He then peered at the hallway window, noting the darkness that had come over it from the staff leaving and returning to their own quarters until the next business day.

"We were never 'on' to begin with." Heero said.

"Tell that to Trowa." Duo rolled his eyes. What happened next wasn't something he'd expected but he'd certainly prepared for it. Heero had gotten up from his chair and moved towards Duo, and as soon as he made a motion to do anything at all to the braided boy, Duo had raised a hand to punch him straight in the face. Unfortunately laying down wasn't giving him the advantage, and Heero easily deflected the attempted attack. It felt as though only seconds had passed before both of his arms were pinned down and the Japanese boy's mouth was on his, and then just as quickly moving elsewhere.

"I'll do that." He murmured against Duo's collarbone. Duo took in a sharp breath, trying his hardest to continue hating the person responsible for wrecking his gundam. Unfortunately that was proving difficult as the object of his distaste had climbed up on the bed with him. At some point the boy had let Duo's wrists go, but instead of fighting him off found himself wrapping them around Heero's neck to pull him closer. Despite the pain he was in, he wanted whatever he was sure he was going to get, even with Quatre right next to him. Heero muttered several apologies, for everything. Just as soon as Duo thought he might go crazy from waiting, the Japanese boy backed away and removed himself from Duo's presence. After the shock had passed, Duo shot him a nasty glare.

"You have no idea how much I hate you right now."

"Probably better that way." It was clear that the boy had no interest in leaving, but knew better than to blow it for himself in a place like that. He turned around to leave, and had barely gotten to the door.

"Heero."

"Hm."

"Fuck you."

_Memento Mori. It's the weirdest feeling when the people you hate the most are the hardest to let go._


	7. Chapter 7

**Note:** I appologize for any mispelling in this chapter, it was writen in notepad and this particular computer doesn't have an auto-edit. Once I can get back to my regular laptop, it will be edited and re-posted appropriately. There is also a yaoi moment at the end of the chapter, fair warning to the faint of heart.

**Currently Listening To:** Lupe Fiasco - The Show Goes On

_I forgot what this war was about a long time ago. What once might have been a fight for freedom turned into a struggle to keep ourselves from becoming the personal slaves of a couple of insane doctors. The colonies have no idea how beautiful the Earth is, and the Earth doesn't care for the brethren that they're too far removed from to care about. Where does that leave us? Caught in the middle, just like the red-headed step child. I wonder what it'll take to make them listen._

Duo was awoken the next morning by a loud sound coming from the far end of the base. His cobalt eyes stared at the wall for several minutes while he regained his bearings. Three weeks had passed since that night with Heero, and thus far it had not been repeated. Then again with all the extra work Dr. J was giving him, Heero hardly had time to breathe, let alone go visiting. A chance look out the window showed what he had expected to see; Wing Zero and Shenlong heading out to another mission, presumably.

"Last day for me, how's it been for you?" Duo smirked as the nurse entered his room. The former L2 resident shook her head with a smile. The braided boy had made a near full recovery and now sat up freely. He looked about ready to get up and walk away, but she held him there for vitals anyway.

"Keep your day job, Duo." She shook her head as he raised an eyebrow. Perhaps he hadn't heard that phrase before. The nurse continued on with her work, allowing silence to fall over them. After everything was finished, she reached up to muss up his bangs. "I don't want to see you back here."

"No guarantees." The boy shrugged, scooting out of the bed and heading off to change into his usual black attire. He came back a few moments later to pick up the letter of good health from the nurse. She handed the note to him gently, but grabbed his wrist before he could leave.

"Hang on a second." She put up a finger, then reached behind her head and under her hair for something. Duo peered at her suspiciously as she pulled a small gold-chained necklace forward and stood to her feet. She then wrapped her arms around his shoulders and placed it on him instead.

"If you're really an angel of death as you say, it wouldn't hurt to have the Lord on your side as well." Her words prompted him to tilt his head downward to examine the small gold cross that now hung over his shirt. He wanted to give it back to her, tell her it was too much to accept. Instead, he found himself running a finger over it thoughtfuly. Duo muttered a polite thank you and she lightly pushed him out into the hallway with a reminder that he'd be late to Deathscythe's unveiling.

_Guess I should repent if I'm gonna wear this thing_, he thought to himself. Then he blinked, shook his head, and sprinted off towards the hangar bay.

_I never believed in God before I met that nurse, and now I'm not sure what I believe in. Maybe there's someone out there, watching over us. Whoever that guy is, he sure has a sick sense of humor._

"You've been spoiled rotten, Maxwell. All new everything on this bastard." Before the braided boy stood what could only be called a magnificent piece of machinery. The Deathscythe had been completely restored and even improved by some level. Quatre and Trowa had come by to observe since they had nothing else to do, and now stood beside Duo.

"Just in time, too." Quatre said enthusiastically. Duo turned his head towards the blonde who had made his own recovery. It had taken some time to get him back into a stable frame of mind, and he had excellent doctors to thank for it. The gundam's creators didn't seem to care for their pilots, but the doctors and nurses treated them like family. It was a small show of humanity, but that much was good enough for them. The little things had always meant much more since the beginning of their journey.

"What for?" Duo asked.

"We're all scheduled to head down to the Earth to randevous with the Maganacs in a few hours. It'll be great to get away from this place, huh?"

"Sounds like a well-deserved vacation to me." Duo smirked, his attitude improving greatly from just that morning. It was most certainly the best news he'd heard in weeks, and it was slightly surprising that he'd not heard about it at all. The braided boy chanced a look down at his new necklace, deeming it his new good luck charm. Two pieces of good news in just as many minutes. Quatre patted Duo on the back and was about to leave when the boy took hold of his arm gently.

"Where are they sending Heero." He asked under his breath, but the look on Quatre's face caused him to let out a relieved breath.

"He and Wufei are already on their way down. We sent them first to scope out the area." Three pieces of good luck, that charm was really on a roll. Duo took the next opportunity to take a zip line up to Deathcythe's cockpit for a look around at the rebuilt interior that Heero had unpleasantly smashed to bits. It had the same look and feel of the former, with a few extra buttons floating around and a screen clear enough to cause some envy. Further inspection and information from the crew told Duo that the exo-skeleton had been rebuilt with a stronger material in case such an event as their last dilemma should happen twice.

Any more of this good luck and I'll have to start getting suspicious, the braided boy thought to himself with a smug grin. That nurse. He'd have to get her name later on and learn a thing or two about her, maybe have a drink or two. As the gundams took off and out of the hangar bay for what Duo hoped was the last time, he gave the woman a mental salute and prepared for the descent into the Earth's atmosphere, two hours away.

"So, do you think they got there okay?" Quatre spoke over his intercom, causing the other two pilots to come out of their trances momentarily.

"If they hadn't, I imagine we would've heard something by now." Trowa spoke softly, running over the various information on his gundam and committing it to memory in case they should have a fight on their hands. Duo, meanwhile, had decided to take a short nap. All of their gundams had been placed into strong cases to assist in surviving the trip through the Earth's atmosphere, and to keep them out of the sight of any potential OZ spies. The last thing the Maganacs needed was another raid.

The trip had gone seamlessly, though Duo thought he might be sick for a moment as they re-entered a normal state of gravity. The difference between Earth and the Colonies' simulated gravity was profound enough to be noticable, and Duo couldn't be sure which he prefered. Eventually they had all landed uncerimoniously in the sands of Arabia and broken free of their capsulated prisons. With Quatre's stellar navigation, they were able to meet up with the Maganacs shortly thereafter.

Immediately upon entering the underground base, the visiting gundams had been greeted with excited faces and bright smiles from all who had come to see them in. Scattered among the Maganacs were members of Saly Po's rebel crew, as well as the woman herself. Trowa had been careful to watch where his gundam walked, and a quick scan of the area had brought Duo's attention to Heero, who stood off by his own gundam that had been set up against the scaffolding for examination.

"It's good to see you all still in one piece." Rasid nodded plantively, leading Quatre and the group past the crowds and into the outside square. All five of the gundam pilots walked behind him quickly, eyes scanning the area with curiousity and suspicion. The whole little town appeared to be getting ready for a festival of sorts. Streamers and various tinsels hung from windows and Heero did several calculations in his head to be absolutely sure that Christmas hadn't passed by them once again, as it had last year.

"What's with all the decorations?" Wufei muttered, speaking the thought that had been on everyone's mind. Quatre smiled nervously, and Rasid chuckled.

"Master Quatre's birthday is next month, so we thought to celebrate it early while he's still on the Earth with you all. We'll be having the festivities tonight, and all of you are welcome to join us."

"Party, huh. Think I might pass on that." Wufei responded quickly, brushing off the answer. Trowa looked thoughtful for a moment, and Duo supressed a cheer. His good luck was still going! Heero didn't seem as though he'd heard them at all. A vacation wasn't what he had come here for; he already had the pre-conceived notion of going along with whatever Wufei had planned. Adjusting Wing Zero, doing some surveilence work, maybe read a manual or two, or start on the mission they'd been given only an hour before the other three gundam pilots had arrived. Even here, he wasn't free of Dr. J's oppressive eyes, and therefore fun wasn't going to be an option.

The boys had been shown to their rooms, a small setup with a bed and a drawer to keep any personal items. It wasn't much, but it was all that they'd needed to be comfortable. The rooms were sorted by gundam number, leaving each a neighbor of the other. The Maganac leader made mention of how they'd thought to bunk two to a room, but had decided against it for the sake of a comfort that Heero didn't care if he had. At least he'd have no interruptions. They'd been left to unpack whatever they had and get some rest, and Heero found himself passing out until well later in the night.

The soldier had been awoken by a number of sounds later that night, coming from out of his window. He sat up with a stretch and moved towards the opening without a sill, eyes scanning the ground. The festival for Quatre's birthday had begun, and a crowd of dancers had formed around a bonfire in the square beneath their building. Heero could've rolled his eyes and left, he could've started on his work as he planned. However, the Japanese boy found himself enthralled by fun outside.

"It's about time you boys relaxed and had a little fun." Rasid sighed, sitting beside both Duo and Quatre, who despite enjoying the festivities, had not bothered to join in with them. They were soldiers, trained assassins, and far too uptight for such an engagement. Duo clapped along with the music, however, and readily took the drink he'd been handed.

"It just feels a little weird, that's all." Quatre smiled sheepishly, holding onto his cup tightly. Duo took a long drink of his own, coughing. He'd been given some kind of rather strong alchoholic beverage, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was. It did its work, however, and sip by sip he was better able to relax and loosen up.

"I'll never understand how acting your age could possibly feel weird." Sally Po wandered beside the gundam pilots on the bench, scooting herself in between them. "Happy birhday Mr. Winner, by the way." She winked.

"Thank you. It's just... I mean, we've been fighting a war for all this time, it just doesn't seem right to be enjoying myself while others suffer I guess. It sounds crazy, I'm sure." He chuckled nervously, but both Rasid and Sally seemed to agree with him with plantive nods. Before the group could find themselves any more somber, Duo had jumped up and clapped his hands, rubbing them together. He grinned wildly.

"Jig's up, I think it's about time to have some fun!" Quatre shouted as his arm was grabbed, and the blonde found himself wrenched from his seat and dragged, begging and pleading, into the dancing crowd. Sally and Rasid smiled as the two began a dizzying circut around the bonfire. Quatre had finally given up and fighting and now found himself laughing until he was out of breath as the drunken american danced in the craziest way he'd ever seen. It was a miracle that nobody had become a victim of a twirling braid. At some point the Arab had gotten a few drinks himself, and between the two of them, the party would last all night.

"Strange, isn't it." A voice had caused Heero Yuy to turn his attention towards the door. Trowa had come in without knocking. The formerly nameless pilot took a chair from one side of the room and joined Heero in staring out the window at the festivities below, and now the wild excitement of Duo and Quatre's newfound fun. The two were practically falling over each other, laughing like maniacs. Rasid and Sally seemed to find approval in this kind of behavior.

"Hn." Heero replied, only to acknowledge the boy's presence. Trowa stayed silent as he often was, observing the blonde who seemed to be having the time of his life. It made him happy to see the otherwise miserable boy in a good mood for once. Of all the pilots, he was the least prepared and least qualified for his job, so far as Trowa was concerned. It would've been fine to know that the boy was packing up, going home, and being replaced by somebody more capable, and more battle hardened. It wasn't fun, having to witness again the very same thing he'd seen a dozen friends go through as they realized the horrors of war. Quatre? He didn't deserve to see that.

"You're lucky, Yuy." Trowa muttered.

"For?" His lifeless eyes fell upon Trowa inquisitively. The strangely banged boy pointed plainly out the window towards the two partying boys.

"Maxwell is one in a million. It's not every day that you find a guy like that."

"Hn." Heero practically snorted, turning his attention back towards the outside. The boys had finally collapsed back into their chairs. Quatre had fallen into Duo's lap and had no choice but to curl into a tiny ball as he was pulled into a noogie. Duo and Quatre had always been better friends with each other than anybody else. The braided boy's charisma combined with the Arab's kind heart made for two peas in a pod. It was as if the boys had immediately taken to each other, and even now there was no separating them. It caused Heero to ponder on more than one occasion about what kept the two from becoming more than that. Perhaps Trowa wondered the same thing. Heero wasn't about to ask.

"Perhaps I'll have that courage too. One of these days." Trowa shrugged, leaving the boy to his thoughts. Heero turned away from the window and began on his work. Every once in a while he'd take a moment and listen to the festivities, wonder what it would be like to be down there with them. A moment of silence for the birthday song that was sung in Arabic and the cheers that followed. Heero couldn't even remember the last time he'd had a birthday, if he'd had one at all. Eventually typing was easier as the crowd died down. At nearly two in the morning the perfect soldier had thought it a good idea to stretch and get something to drink.

"Heero! There you- commere, you." Before Heero could blink he'd been run into headlong by the braided - and now drunk - Duo. The boy's smile was wide and he threw his arms around the Japanese boy's shoulders, much to Heero's horror. Instead of heading off to get his drink, he was forced to half-carry Duo back to his room while he prattled on in a drunken stupor about how much he loved him and how much fun he'd just had and other things that Heero nearly had to cover the boy's mouth about. If Duo had wanted Heero's attention, he'd more than succeeded.

"Get off, Duo..." Heero muttered, attempting to shrug his way out of the braided boy's grasp as they finally made their way into his room. Instead of complying like a good drunk should, Heero found himself against the wall, locked into an alchoholic kiss. He knew he shouldn't be here. He didn't even want to be here, but suddenly that drunken smile had turned into liquid determination to get what he wanted. "Damnit, Baka-"

"Arigato to you too, babe." Needless to say, his Japanese was terrible and for a moment it secretly annoyed the hell out of him that the braided boy would butcher his language so terribly in only one sentence. In one final push, Heero forced himself off of the wall and nearly tripped Duo in the process. Unfortunately the boy wasn't going to be so easily moved. Heero had no idea where Duo's strength was coming from, but the boy who could hardly hold his own against the perfect soldier was suddenly besting him terribly. Less than a few seconds and Heero had found himself on his back recieving the kind of love he wasn't at all accustomed to. He had to stifle a surprised gasp and wonder wildly what Duo had been drinking to make him this damn giddy.

"This isn't really a good time.." Heero found himself sputtering, shocked at the words comming out of his mouth. Since when did he act like some frightened little kid around someone as stupid as Duo Maxwell? He could just wrestle him off, beat the crap out of him, hell, even shoot him again if needed. Something about the hands running over him that sent shivers up the Japanese boy's spine, kept him glued to the spot as he'd suddenly become the victim of an unusual conquest. Their roles had switched without any warning, and the only thing he could seem to feel was nervousness. There was no telling what he could or would do.

"You're not gettin' outa this one, not on your life." Duo muttered, sounding far more sober all of a sudden. The floor was hardly a comfortable place, but Heero had a difficult time paying attention to such a detail. "You didn't even wish Quatre a happy birthday, you hardly deserve this, Heero-kun, but I'm in a good mood, and you look really damn tempting at the moment." He nearly giggled at the end, causing Heero to wonder if those drinks had caused the boy to go off the deep end. Either way the two had ended up clothesless and whatever Duo had wanted, he'd gotten, all while making a slurred promise that he'd never look at another woman again, swearing up and down that he was the luckiest person alive that night, that he wanted nobody else in the world.

It was all well and good for the braided boy who was sure that he'd never felt better, but Heero wasn't entirely sure what to make of it all. This wasn't as simple as things had used to be, and every minute he prayed to any existing God that someone wouldn't walk in on it. Never in their 'relationship' had he wanted to run for the hills, not like this. Even after the braided drunk had finally passed out with purring snores and a goofy grin, Heero wanted to be anywhere but there. It was asking too much of him, telling him things he didn't want to hear. This whole damn thing was wrong, and yet he'd been stupid enough to let it happen. He didn't want to leave Duo alone, but he didn't want to stay. It was a quandary that he had no idea how to handle... so instead of fighting with himself, he met his mind in the middle and brought his computer into Duo's room to work while the boy slept.

Even after such an exhausting interaction, Heero couldn't sleep. He spent the rest of the night reading over the group's orders, doing research, communicating with Dr. J, hacking small systems while Duo tossed about and mumbled to himself. The conversation between he and the doctor had been brief. It turned out that they'd be on the Earth for far longer than they'd expected to be, and everyone else would be informed of the decision in the morning. Also, something about staying on his best behavior - as if he'd expected something like what had just happened - to happen.

_What are you so afraid of, anyway?_ The words he'd been asked so long ago echoed back in his head as he finally snapped the laptop shut and leaned back in his chair. It was as if a set of floodgates had opened in that moment, and he allowed himself a short moment of memories to pass by. A little girl and her dog, thousands of people dead. Heero turned his head to stare at the slumbering 02 pilot, eyes moving towards the window as the sun finally began to rise for the next day.

_You're not the only bringer of death, Duo._

_Eventually, the answer will be found to all the questions we ask ourselves as we stand there with the gun pointed at the enemy. All we can do is keep on going until the answer appears in the crosshairs before we pull the trigger. All we can hope for is that we've done the right thing._


End file.
